I AM WOMAN

When circumstances knock us down, we have three choices: 1. we can stay down, 2. we can get up a victim and continue to struggle, or 3. we can get up wiser with a new determination never to be down again. 

 

"How I Escaped Domestic Violence Through Financial Empowerment"

Post from Rich Single Momma  http://richsinglemomma.com/weblog

By Rich Single Momma

October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. It’s a time to take a good long look at this problem in our world. Despite all we’ve learned about this problem it still persists in thousands of households each year. People who are not in that situation can’t understand why a woman would stay so long and almost lose her life. Why would she subject her children to such a life of violence?

No Escape?

What those same people don’t realize is a woman in this situation probably feels helpless to leave. She may be a stay at home mom who is isolated from family and friends because of her husband’s (or boyfriend’s) threats and manipulations. She probably doesn’t have the financial resources to leave because she is dependent on him for survival.

My Experience

From firsthand experience I can tell you being in a situation like this sucks the life out of you. Domestic violence is not necessarily a sudden thing. It creeps in your life little by little and women with very blurry boundary lines are easily victimized. It starts out with verbal put downs and criticisms. Then it escalates into yelling and screaming to shock the senses and terrorize. The next step is shoving or slapping, which escalates into punching and beating. All the while you are being manipulated into giving up your friends and stop hanging around your family.

If a baby comes you are likely to remain at home and interrogated if you leave the house. You are dependent on the provision of your partner. This is one of the most insidious forms of abuse; being a financial hostage. You have very little or no access to money and every penny you get is taken away.

Holding on to My Identity

My situation was not this bad but it could have gotten to this point very easily. Things never progressed to the shoving, slapping or into being beat. I came to my senses before it escalated to that point. I did, however experience the verbal and psychological abuse. Money could have easily become an issue but I refused to give up my financial identity. Toward the end, my bank account was almost wiped out, but I had another account that I could transfer my money into. I recognized the downward spiral I was in and determined to regain control of my life.

Going through this was very terrifying and heartbreaking. I was angry, scared and confused, but I had to keep my head on straight. My children depended on me to get us through this nightmare. Fortunately I had resources before I got involved with this person so I could escape much easier than a woman who has been in bondage for years.

Financial Savvy is Key

When a woman begins seeking a way out all the literature she reads and people she talks to tells her to stash away money. That is the only way for her to escape a situation like domestic violence. Without money she is stuck indefinitely.

Financial independence is very liberating so it is important to cultivate a financial mindset. It is never too late to learn all you can about earning, saving, and budgeting. Giving up your financial identity is never a good idea in a relationship, but being empowered with financial knowledge is essential. Cultivate your financial savvy and never give up your personal identity for anyone.

I Found My Power

My situation turned out much better than millions of other women. I already had a very strong sense of who I was (I temporarily lost my way) and could tap into my strength. I knew how to get out and get help and I was angry enough (versus too scared) to do something about my situation. I was driven by a sense of fairness and protection for my children. I wasn’t dealing with a crazy man, just a coward who I escaped rather easily when I threatened to expose him to our church. Sometimes that’s all it takes, but other times it’s more difficult.

Educate, Empower, Think

Domestic violence will not go away over night. Young girls must be taught they are worthy of love and respect. They must be taught not to fall for the first guy that says, “I love you”. They must be empowered through education, critical thinking skills, and financial savvy.

Make it your business to empower yourself and every young lady you know. Learn to make good decisions in every area of your life. Develop a strong sense of who you are and never let anyone label you or tell you who you are. Ask a million questions of potential suitors and trust your instincts.

If you are in a domestic violence situation get help ASAP by calling a domestic violence hotline.

Lucille Tyler Baldwin
http://www.thejourneytowealth.blogspot.com/

Beyond "Happily Ever After"

     Once upon a time the divorce rate in America was 2.6 divorces for every thousand marriages. Today the divorce rate in America is more than 50 percent, which means that more than 500 marriages out of a thousand will end in divorce: FIVE HUNDRED! That is our new reality. The new slogan for marriage should be "I Do": Until death, divorce, abandonment, or "I just do not feel like being married anymore," Do Us Part.
In real life, the road to "happily ever after" is not written in stone. The reality is that after a divorce a number of women, with their children in tow, can expect their income level to drop by as much as 50%: plunging them into poverty.  We all think that the death of a spouse, a breakup, or abandonment will not happen to us, - but we cannot all be right!
Even if you are living the fairy tale life you should still...

 

FYI: It is believed that once paired, bald eagles mate for life - we may need to follow their example.

Lucille Tyler Baldwin
Author of "Sick and Tired of Being Broke"
http://www.thejourneytowealth.blogspot.com/
lucybaldwin27@yahoo.com

Introduction: Sick and Tired of Being Broke

Journey to Wealth for Ordinary People

About Me

Hi

     My name is Lucille Tyler Baldwin, I am not a financial advisor or an expert when it comes to money. What I am is a divorced mother of two who was Sick and Tired of living paycheck to paycheck and decided to take charge of my financial situation. My life had taken an unexpected detour. I had become a single mother raising my daughters alone. I believed in love and fairy tales and thought that love alone was enough to create a happy life. I NEVER imagined that I would be divorced and raising my daughters alone, but hey, life happens!

     At the tender age of 21 I married my high school sweetheart and moved hundreds of miles away from my family and friends. I was full of life, love and ready for new adventures as a military wife. I sometimes like to joke that I was young and dumb, but that’s not nice. What I learned on my journey is that it does not matter if you are a janitor, a server, a teacher, or even a single mom, the power to become debt free and create wealth is in your hands.

Why Did I Write a Book?

     I wanted to write a book for others like myself who grew up without the benefits of basic financial information. The sad truth is that almost 80% of Americans are in debt and struggling to make ends meet or just not getting ahead financially.

     The main cause of this problem is simple: a lack of financial information. Until recently I was one of the 80% overwhelmed with debt and struggling to make ends meet. Once I learned how to take control of my money my goal was to share this empowering information with others. I started with .25 cents, determination, and a plan. The most powerful tool that I had was the belief that living debt free was possible. If I can do it, you can do it! If you are ready to free yourself from debt and watch your bank account grow then I invite you to join me as I continue my journey to creating wealth.

Lucille Baldwin
Author of "Sick and Tired of Being Broke"
http://www.site.sickandtiredofbeingbroke.org/